


Crazy Love

by HobbitBraids



Series: Of Tea and Ivy [4]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Durin Family Feels, F/M, I Tried, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Some fluff... if you squint hard enough, inspired by a song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 07:05:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14443983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HobbitBraids/pseuds/HobbitBraids
Summary: Fíli has his ups and downs dealing with loss.





	Crazy Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JennyLynn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyLynn/gifts).



> This work was inspired by the song 'Crazy Love' by Poco. It was brought to my attention by the awesome JennyLynn who was extremely supportive of my original story in this series, the song being a favorite of hers. I read the lyrics and heard the song right before I finished 'Tea is at 4' and it brought to mind the fact that my OFC would pass waaaaaay before our beloved Fíli and so this was hatched. I couldn't let the opportunity slide.
> 
> JennyLynn:
> 
> Hopefully you don't mind where the song took me. Thanks for the inspiration.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> ~~~
> 
> As always I own nothing!

In the blink of an eye the joy of the moment was muted by another wave of grief. He knew it might be a while until the feeling passed, hopefully not days. After it had happened he had thrown all his energy into his royal duties trying not to dwell on things. It had been three years, she was 103. 

He loved being surrounded by his children and his family and today he had been blessed with the birth of his first grandchild. The babe was a screaming bundle of caramel skin and messy auburn hair, just like her mother and her grandmother. Oh, how she would have loved being a grandmother. 

 

_**Earlier that day...** _

_Martur came out of the room with the news, ushering everyone inside in small groups so they could meet the newest addition. After Dís and Thorin it was his turn. Fíli could hardly contain his excitement. His first grandchild._

_When he entered the room he was greeted by an enthusiastic Oin who congratulated him. He then saw his eldest daughter, Ivy, propped up on pillows holding the small wriggling bundle. He could only see the wispy auburn curls poking out of the blanket. Martur came over to the bed to stand next to his wife._

_"Come closer, 'adad so you can meet her." Ivy smiled at him. She sounded_ _exhausted, tears shinning in her eyes as she watched him study their little treasure._

_These miracles granted by the Valar would never cease to amaze him. He could clearly remember the births of all his five children._

_"We've decided to name her Sage for 'amad" he froze halfway as Ivy handed the baby to him._

_She realized belatedly that the news would be somewhat of a shock to her father regardless of her good intentions. Ivy wanted it to be a surprise, not really knowing if it would be a girl or a boy. It never occurred to her he might not take it well. She knew how much her parents loved each other._

_"I'm sorry, 'adad," her voice barely a whisper. Coming out of his thoughts he gave her a sad smile._

_"It's alright 'ibinê," holding out his arms to take the squirming little girl from her mother. "Amazing..." his smile barely reached his eyes but it was sincere._

_Ivy relaxed, leaning onto her husband's side reveling in the scene in front of them. Having whispered a quick prayer not quite able to touch his forehead to hers just yet, Fíli handed his granddaughter back to her mother._

_"We are blessed once again. She is beautiful," eyes full of unshed tears, he cupped Ivy's cheek. "Thank you."_

_Going around the bed to congratulate Martur, he made his way out the door. Dís was at his side almost instantly recognizing her son's defeated stance._

_"Sweetheart..." she reached out to comfort him but he waved her off with a tired smile._

_"I just need some air," he stated, walking off without another word._

 

 

Now he was here. One of the few places that would grant him comfort when the memories wrapped too tightly around his heart. After that painful day three years ago his first thought was to forget their garden and just leave it to it's fate. But he had made her a promise and so, he has been working diligently to keep it in full bloom. As hard as it was working on it without hearing her laugh or her ramblings on whatever idea had taken over her curiosity at the time, he knows it helps him heal.

 

 

_**Three years ago...** _

_"Fíli..."_

_If it weren't for the complete silence in the room he wouldn't have heard her. He had gotten up to fill her cup with water but when she sighed he was by her side in an instant._

_"I'm here love," his eyes stung fighting back the tears. She smiled._

_The last two weeks had been hard. Kíli had taken over his duties as King with the help of Ori and Dís. Fíli needed to be by Sage's side. They all knew it was a matter of time._

_"You have... been" she paused, catching her breath. "...so good ... to me, lanselê."_

_The smile she gave him took him by surprise. For a moment she was the young lass he had met that evening in the Shire, bright smile and hazel eyes._

_"Don't speak, just rest. I'll be here when you wake '_ _ibin abnamulê," his voice broke as he wiped away the stray tear making it's way down her cheek._

_Her smile never faltered._

_With one shaky hand she cupped his face, thumb caressing his wet cheek. He didn't even know when his tears began to fall. Taking his free hand she laid it on her heart. Feeling her weak heartbeat, once so strong, he couldn't help but take in a ragged breath._

_"My won-" shallow breath and a cough. "... wonderful prince."_

_He covered her hand with his own and touched his forehead to hers._

_"Don't for- forget our garden... please."_

_"I promise," he smiles amid the tears. "Menu tessu, I love you so much."_

_"I love you too, my sweet Fíli... I'm sorry."_

_"Sage-" her name almost lost among the quiet sobs that overtook him. A thousand years wouldn't be enough to prepare him for this._

 

_Ivy and Dís found him curled up on the bed next to Sage almost an hour later._

 

 

He heard a rustling behind the bushes that hid the garden from plain view. He knew the sound of those footsteps well.

"Uncle."

Even at his old age Thorin still carried himself with an air of regaleness unrivaled although at a slower pace.

"Fíli," Thorin nodded. "May I?"

Fíli motions for him to sit next to him on the bench he had added so many years before. He wipes his cheeks unconsciously. They sit in a comfortable silence each lost in their thoughts.

"Does it get any easier?" Fíli sounds hopeful, thinking maybe his uncle has some words of wisdom as to how to deal. Bilbo had been gone almost nineteen years.

Thorin closed his eyes taking a deep breath. This was the first time he had opened up about it. Fíli had always tried to deal with it on his own but Thorin could see that it had taken its toll. He himself had never brought it up knowing his nephew needed time. Just like Dís had waited until he was ready after Bilbo was gone. Hopefully he could make the birden easier for Fíli.

"In a way it does," he sighed. "I will not lie, it hurts everyday. There will always be little things that will creep up on you and make somedays harder than others." He watched his nephew slump a little lower at his words. "But that is not necessarily a bad thing. The memories can be overwhelming at times but the fact that you lived them makes it worthwhile."

Fíli stayed silent, gaze trained on the ground in front of him. Thorin wanted to say more but he had to let it sink in and give him time to think and react.

"Even though we had all those years together it still feels like it went by in the blink of an eye."

The words come out slowly, measured and barely above a whisper. Thorin only hummed in agreement.

"I'm glad you decided to keep the garden," Thorin says almost absentmindedly, smiling at the thought of his own garden in the mountain.

"Me too," he replies looking all around him with a hint of a smile. "Do you think we'll see them again?"

The earnestness in his nephews voice makes Thorin want to embrace him just like when he was dwarfling barely able to properly grip a sword. To tell him everything will be fine. Sometimes he still sees both of his nephews like that. They have grown into their own and made him so proud. He wants to scream an irrefutable 'yes', leaving no room for doubt but he knows he can't. Fíli puts a hand on his shoulder, sad smile playing on his lips. Thorin knows he can sense his dilema.

"I know it sounds selfish uncle but I like to think they both deserve to be there."

Thorin smiles, glad that Fíli hasn't lost that spark.

"Perhaps the odds will be in our favor."

 

* * *

 

_Many years later Fíli walks into the Halls of Waiting to find a smiling Sage eager to welcome him into her arms, Bilbo and Thorin not far behind._

_Yavanna is very persuasive and Mahal understands that some exceptions are warranted, especially for love._

**Author's Note:**

> My head canon is that Fíli & Sage had five children: Ivy, Vili, Frerin, Drogo & Prim
> 
> Khuzdul:  
> * adad= father  
> * amad= mother  
> * 'ibinê = my gem  
> * lanselê= my love  
> * 'ibin abnanulê= my beautiful gem  
> * menu tessu= you mean everything to me
> 
> ***I'm pretty sure I'm not done with this AU but for now I'll go work on my Bifur fic ;) ***


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